10 Things to Know Before Cohabiting

10 Things Same-Sex Couples Should Know Before Moving In Together

1. Clarify Your Reasons for Cohabitation

First, discuss why you want to live together. Is it to test long-term compatibility, a firm commitment to shared life, or simply to save on rent? Different goals will shape your preparations. Have this conversation over a relaxed meal—avoid discussing it right before bed to prevent unnecessary tension.

2. Financial Planning

Money is a common source of conflict. Consider these tips:

- Split rent and utilities proportionally based on income.

- Set up a joint account for shared expenses.

- Save at least three months’ worth of emergency funds.

3. Finding the Right Home

When renting, pay attention to:

- The landlord’s attitude toward LGBTQ+ tenants.

- Prioritize buildings with keypad locks and security cameras.

- Ensure both names are on the lease agreement.

4. Dividing Household Chores

Try these methods:

- Assign tasks based on each other’s strengths.

- Use a lottery system for less desirable chores.

- Set penalties (e.g., fines for unfinished tasks).

- Regularly review whether the division is fair.

5. Coming Out Considerations

Living together means more situations where disclosure may be necessary:

- Agree on a consistent way to present your relationship to others.

- Save legal aid hotline numbers for emergencies.

- Protect your privacy in public spaces (e.g., neighborhood groups).

- Prepare responses for maintenance workers or nosy neighbors.

6. Handling Family Visits

If your families don’t know about your relationship:

- Keep easily storable doubles of couple items (e.g., toothbrushes).

- Place a foldable single bed in the main bedroom.

- Agree on how to refer to each other (e.g., "roommate").

- Hide any obvious relationship evidence beforehand.

7. Legal Preparations

Important legal steps:

- Grant each other emergency medical decision-making rights.

- Ensure both names are on the rental contract.

- Be cautious about joint property purchases before marriage equality.

- Research local laws protecting same-sex couples.

8. Maintaining Personal Space

Even while sharing a home, preserve individuality:

- Schedule alone time for each other.

- Duplicate frequently used items (e.g., chargers) to avoid conflicts.

- Use a "Do Not Disturb" sign when needed.

- Keep up with separate hobbies and interests.

9. Conflict Resolution

How to handle arguments:

- Establish a cooling-off rule before discussions.

- Prepare reconciliation tokens (e.g., favorite snacks).

- Avoid hurtful words in the heat of the moment.

- Address issues promptly through calm communication.

10. Nurturing the Relationship

Prioritize emotional connection:

- Dedicate daily quality time without distractions.

- Create small rituals (e.g., Sunday breakfast together).

- Document life milestones as a couple.

- Revisit your original reasons for moving in together.

Cohabitation is a journey of mutual growth—balancing compromise with self-care. When challenges arise, communicate openly and seek professional support if needed. Wishing every same-sex couple a happy and fulfilling life together!