Six Degrees of Separation in the Lesbian Community

Have you ever experienced this: A lesbian friend you just met turns out to be your ex’s college classmate, or your current girlfriend’s ex happens to work at your company? This phenomenon is so common in lesbian circles that it’s earned its own term—**"Lesbian Six Degrees of Separation."**

What Is the "Lesbian Six Degrees of Separation"?

The traditional "six degrees of separation" theory suggests that any two people are connected through no more than five intermediaries. But in the lesbian community, that number shrinks to two degrees—or even one. As one netizen joked: "In the lesbian world, you never know how your current partner, ex, crush, and best friend are all mysteriously linked."

Why Is the Lesbian Social Web So Tightly Knit?

Relatively Small Community

- LGBTQ+ people make up about 5-10% of the population, with lesbians being an even smaller subset. A limited dating pool naturally increases the chances of overlapping connections.

Concentration in Specific Spaces

- Lesbians often gather in certain social venues (like gay bars), online communities (such as dating apps), or hobby groups (e.g., women’s basketball teams), significantly raising the odds of mutual acquaintances.

Selective Socializing Due to Coming Out

- Many lesbians only openly engage within trusted circles, leading to a more insular network where newcomers often enter through mutual friends.

Classic "Plot Twists" in the Lesbian Social Web

"Your ex is my personal trainer": Since lesbians often frequent the same gyms or sports clubs, awkward run-ins between exes and current partners are a recurring theme.

"We dated the same person": With dating apps, "rivals-turned-friends" scenarios have become even more common. One interviewee shared: "My best friend and I realized we’d both matched with the same girl—now we bond over roasting her weird habits."

"Best friends → lovers → best friends again": The fluidity of lesbian relationships often blurs the lines between friendship and romance.

The next time you discover your new girlfriend’s ex is your yoga instructor, try reframing it: It just means you’re part of the same supportive community. After all, in the lesbian world, the greatest distance isn’t physical—it’s when you somehow share zero mutual connections.