How to Know if You Are a Lesbian
Wondering if you're a lesbian? You can start by observing and reflecting on these aspects—no pressure, just be honest with yourself:
1. Ask Yourself: Who Do You Find "Chemistry" With?
Emotionally: When imagining your future partner, do female images come to mind more easily? For example, do you often think about a girl's smile or personality, crave alone time with her, want to share secrets, or feel jealous when she gets close to others?
Physical Reactions: Do intimate actions between girls (like holding hands or hugging) make you feel "向往" (yearning) or "心動" (heart-fluttering)? But when seeing similar scenes with boys, do you feel indifferent or even repelled?
Romantic Fantasies: Does the love you expect lean more toward an exclusive, "want-to-be-together-forever" relationship with a girl? For instance, does the thought of dating a girl excite you, while dating a boy feels uninteresting or forced?
2. Distinguish Between "Friendship" and "Love"
Liking a Friend: You admire a girl because she's brave or smart, want to be her friend, and share life with her—but you don't want to date her or have intimate contact.
Feeling for a Crush: Beyond admiration, you have an urge to get closer, care about her opinion of you, and even fantasize about being lovers with exclusive intimacy.
3. Don’t Let Labels Box You In
Don’t suppress yourself because of ideas like "girls should like boys," and don’t assume "I must like girls" just because you dislike boys. The key is who you’re truly attracted to in your heart, not what others say.
Sexual orientation can change. It’s normal to like girls now but feel differently later—no need to rush to label yourself.
4. Key Signs (Long-Term Feelings)
If the following last for a long time (e.g., over six months), they might indicate a lesbian tendency:
Mainly Attracted to Girls: Emotionally, romantically, and physically, your focus is on girls.
No Interest in Boys: Even if you try to connect, it’s hard to feel attracted or want a relationship with them.
Self-Identity Alignment: Thinking "I like girls" makes you feel "this is who I really am," without anxiety or conflict.
Finally: No Need to Rush for Answers
Sexual orientation is personal, and confusion during exploration is normal. The most important thing is to accept your feelings. Whether you end up identifying as a lesbian or not, being honest with yourself matters most.
